How to have Victory over Bitterness

 

How to have Victory over Bitterness

 

Opening Text:

II Corinthians 7:10  “For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.”

Have you ever heard someone say, “He is a bitter old man,” or “She is a bitter old woman.”

1.    WHAT IS BITTERNESS?

It is an “attitude of extended and intense anger and hostility…often accompanied by resentment and a desire to ‘get even”’

A. Bitterness comes from a word meaning “to bite; a sharp or disagreeable taste; having deep and continuing sorrow; being grievous about an event or toward a person.”

B. Bitterness is a problem of the human soul. It makes the soul man sick.

C. Bitterness means to harbor feelings of anger or disappointment.

2. HOW DOES A HUMAN BECOME BITTER?

Bitterness is the direct result of a person’s refusal, inability, or unwillingness to forgive another of an offense.

A. There are people who maintain feelings of bitterness for many years.

B. A human can develop a bitter attitude. This means that bitterness does not just happen by accident. It is premeditated.

C. You can look at life through glasses of bitterness and every problem is magnified and ugly.

3. WHAT WILL BITTERNESS DO TO A HUMAN?

Bitterness is insidiously destructive on all levels: emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  Like a cancer, bitterness “grows and grows until it destroys everything around it”.  Ironically it does less harm to the offender, and more harm to the offended. 

A. Bitterness can cause a personality to change from pleasantness and kindness to ugliness.

B. The Bible speaks of the root of bitterness. Bitterness has a root from which it grows.

Hebrews 12:15  “ . . . lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.”

C. A person can be more bitter than he thinks or believes he is. A bitter person often refuses to believe he is bitter.

D. Bitterness usually wears a mask which disguises its real self.

E. A child can become bitter when unloved. This is also true of a wife or a husband.

F. Divorce creates bitterness in many directions.

G. Neglect is a prime cause of bitterness.

          Ways Bitterness may manifest:

                                      I.               Obsessive thoughts of revenge

                                   II.               Resentment

                               III.               Sarcasm

                              IV.               Self-righteousness

                                  V.               Unkind

                              VI.               Critical comments

                           VII.               Conflicts with others

                       VIII.               Controlling behavior

                               IX.               Aggressiveness in relationships

                                  X.               Hostility

4. THE FRUIT OF BITTERNESS

A. Bitterness of heart can cause people to demean themselves, discrediting their usefulness.

B. Bitterness results in hostility, often toward the innocent.

C. Bitterness causes traumatic experiences and emotional shock with lasting effects which destroy happiness and peace. Bitterness can cause physical illness.

D. Bitterness can begin as a child and grow and develop until ultimately it destroys its victim.

          Key components of Bitterness:

                                      I.               Unresolved anger

                                   II.               Inability to grieve

                               III.               Inability or unwillingness to face the reality of a certain relationship is never going to fulfill all of one’s needs or hopes.

                              IV.               Lack of control

5. OFTEN DEATH—ESPECIALLY PREMATURE DEATH—WILL CAUSE BITTERNESS

A. It may produce bitterness toward the doctor.

B. Sometimes it fosters bitterness toward church or pastor.

C. The most tragic situation is bitterness toward God.

6. HUMANS WITH NO PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD CAN EASILY BECOME BITTER

A. Without God’s love in your heart you can become bitter at God, at the world, and at other humans.

B. Bitterness can cause one to doubt the existence of God or complain to God about world conditions.

C. Tragedies such as storms, wrecks, fires, and sickness can cause bitterness.

7. HOW TO COPE WITH BITTERNESS

A. Admit you have a problem. Denying the problem delays the solution.

B. Take action.

1) It does not matter what happens. It is how you react that makes the difference.

2) One woman said, “Many people do not want to face the problem. It is easier to stay bitter than to change.”

3) Seek God for help.

 

8. How the bible shows how people reacted to bitterness

 

Negative:

Job- Job 10:1 NKJV

“10 “My soul loathes my life; I will give free course to my complaint, I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.”

 

Esau- Genesis 27:34 NKJV

³⁴ When Esau heard the words of his father, he cried with an exceedingly great and bitter cry, and said to his father, “Bless me—me also, O my father!”

 

Joseph’s brothers- Genesis 49:23 NKJV

²³ The archers have bitterly grieved him, Shot at him and hated him.

Naomi- Ruth 1:20 NKJV

²⁰ But she said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.

This always accompanies bitterness:

Ephesians 4:31 NKJV

³¹ Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

Hebrews 12:15 NKJV

¹⁵ looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;

A. Peter wept bitterly after he denied Christ. Matthew 26:75, And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly.

B. The Prodigal Son uprooted the bitterness in his heart when he said, “I am not worthy to be your son.”

Luke 15:19  “And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.”

C. In Christ, forgiveness comes to the human heart and bitterness goes.

D. Ephesians 4:31-32  “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: v. 32, And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”

 

The antidote for bitterness is forgiveness- which means “to release”.

Bitterness holds on, forgiveness releases it.

 

Genesis 50:15-20 NKJV

¹⁵ When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “Perhaps Joseph will hate us, and may actually repay us for all the evil which we did to him.” ¹⁶ So they sent messengers to Joseph, saying, “Before your father died he commanded, saying, ¹⁷ ‘Thus you shall say to Joseph: “I beg you, please forgive the trespass of your brothers and their sin; for they did evil to you.” ’ Now, please, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of your father.” And Joseph wept when they spoke to him.

¹⁸ Then his brothers also went and fell down before his face, and they said, “Behold, we are your servants.”

¹⁹ Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? ²⁰ But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.

Evidence of your forgiveness:

^{Matthew 56:14-15 NKJV}

¹⁴ “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.